Those songs from a certain misleading ad campaign sure are catchy – and I don’t just mean that their melodies are hooky and infectious. The main catch from this supposed freebie website  (which shall not be named so as not to introduce any possible confusion with the only FTC authorized vendor of free annual credit reports) is that while the credit report is free, the “credit monitoring” service certainly isn’t.Aand it’s no walk in the park to cancel it either.

Because most of us are familiar with the free yearly credit report that all U.S. citizens are entitled to thanks to the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA), these troubadours of free* stuff for your credit report are easily mistaken as agents of the government – but they’re not. Mark my words:

The only place you can get a free, no-strings attached credit report from each of the three nationwide reporting agencies – Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion – is AnnualCreditReport.com.

The FTC’s jams are markedly crappier than the ones you’ll see on TV, but that’s probably because they are on a lower budget. This is a good sign. It’s because they aren’t profiting from their songs. It’s free. Really, really free.

With that being said, that doesn’t mean that the FTC sanctioned road to free credit reports isn’t also fraught with landmines. Because the FTC simply provides a portal to Experian, Equifax and TransUnion, you’ll still have to wade your way through some sneaky sells. To ensure that you don’t get fleeced, follow the instructions below:

1. Visit AnnualCreditReport.com. Type it carefully. Or, better yet, visit the FTC’s site to get a link and a reassuring message of genuineness.

See the pictures for a guide. As you can see, the FTC’s guy is earnest and square, while AnnualCreditReport.com has pictures of respectable looking professionals (a doctor, a soldier, a businessman and a turtlenecked woman on a laptop). The imposter, on the other hand, has the shaggy pretender with a more rockin’ band and a less scrupulous mission.

2. At AnnualCreditReport.com, choose your state from the pull-down menu and click “Request Report.” This will bring you to a page asking for your personal information along with a CAPTCHA to verify that you’re not a robot. Go ahead and fill this out and click continue.

3. Next, you’ll see a screen that asks you which company you’d like to pull your report from. Check as many as you’d like and click next. For now, let’s do TransUnion.

4. Take note of this next screen. It will tell you that you’re going to a different site. If you want to return, click “Return to AnnualCreditReport.com.” If this menu bar ever goes away, be careful – you may have been taken to another site.

5. At the TransUnion page, you’ll be prompted to login or create a new account if this is your first time. Go ahead and do so.

6. This next screen is critical – there are two options “Add on a Debt Analysis for only $5.95” and “Add on a Credit Score & Analysis for only $7.95.” Don’t check these if you don’t want to pay any more than zero dollars. These are not necessary to retrieve your report. Read the service agreement and click “Accept.”

7. Next, TransUnion will ask if you want to receive reminder emails and their newsletter. Feel free to sign up if you’d like – it’s free – but if you don’t want to clutter up your inbox, click “No Thanks.”

8. This next screen also has a sale on it. It’ll ask you if you want to know our credit score. Note that this is different from your credit report and is NOT given to you for free by law. It costs $7.95 and may be interesting, but isn’t essential. Click “No thanks, just my report” to keep things free.

9. You’ll see a receipt for your order. If all went well, the grand total will be $0.00. Click “Next” to continue.

10. Congratulations! You are now viewing your free credit report from TransUnion. Make sure you click “Display a printer friendly version” and print off a hard copy or save a PDF of your report for future reference. You can only pull it for free once a year.

11. Click “Return to AnnualCreditReport.com” to go back and retrieve the rest of your reports. It’ll ask if you are sure you want to return – click “Yes, I want to return to AnnualCreditReport.com” and you will be taken to the website of the next credit reporting company you requested.

That’s all for now – stay tuned for a walk through of Experian and Equifax. And remember – it’s AnnualCreditReport.com. Tell your friends and family! Don’t let them be wooed by bouncy pop narratives.

Related posts:

1. A Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Your (Actually) Free Credit Report without Accidentally Signing Up For Extras: Part Two – Experian
2. A Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Your (Actually) Free Credit Report without Accidentally Signing Up For Extras: Part Three Equifax
3. TrueCredit – Free TransUnion Credit Monitoring
4. Guide to Getting Your Free Credit Report from GoFreeCredit.com
5. FICO vs. VantageScore and the Truth About Free Credit Scores