We all have our own goals in life regarding personal finance. Some of us want wealth, some of us just want enough. Whatever your specific goal, it’s important to remember that personal finance is not a race, and getting to your goal faster or slower than someone else doesn’t make you anymore important then them.

I was talking to a relative of mine recently and the topic of personal finance came up. She’s been wanting to leave the small town she grew up in for several years and she’s quite envious that I managed to achieve that feat well before her. She went on to say that she wanted to be financially well-off by now and that almost everyone who mattered from her high school graduating class has left the town and made something of themselves.

Her choice of words struck me as odd, first of all, she’s never been the snobby type, and secondly, what defines those people as the ones who “matter?” Was it the popular kids? The smart kids? Which specific clique(s) qualified? I found it interesting for reasons beyond this post, but when I asked her to explain her meaning, she simply said she meant those she knew in high school.

As I explained to her, just because those guys left the small town they grew up in doesn’t mean that they’re all 100% successful by her definition. Furthermore, their goals may be completely different from hers, so what she would consider an utter failure on their part may, in fact, be an absolute success to them. I illustrated my point by telling her a little of my story. We’re not particularly close, so she hadn’t heard of it before.

I shared how I left home around 16 and moved away from the small town I’d been raised in. But, as it turns out, that was the start of all my problems. I explained my reckless spending, lack of a budget or even tangible goals, and everything that eventually lead to a spiral of debt. I explained how I eventually had to go back home, tail between my legs, and really take a look at my situation before I turned it around and made it into something positive. And even with my experience and background, I’m still learning something new, every day.

If I spent all my time worrying about how other people were doing with their goals and their achievements, I’d never accomplish anything of my own. So my choices were to worry about myself and my goals, or to worry about how quickly everyone else appeared to achieve their goals. But there’s the crux of the matter, as I explained to my relative. Appearances can be deceiving. Just as they don’t know your situation, you don’t know theirs. They could appear to be highly successful, but be struggling with a mound of debt brought on by a case of the Joneses. Or, they could appear to be poor and not wishing to better their circumstances, yet they’ve achieved their financial goals and wish to live simply.

Because personal finance is so different for everyone, there’s no reason to think of it in terms of a race. In fact, more often then not, those who amass a fortune quickly also loose it just as quickly because they do not understand the value of time versus money earned. Not always, but in many cases. When it comes to amassing wealth, if that is your goal – which it was for my relative – slow and steady is the best course of action. You will be better off in the long run.

I don’t really think my discussion with my relative made much of a difference. She made a comment shortly after about how great it would be to win the lottery. I just shook my head. But, hopefully it helps someone else who might be reading this. The danger in considering finances as a race is that you lose sight of what’s important, of the reason for doing what you’re doing. Most of us don’t just want all the money in the world just cause. We have a specific goal in mind. We want to retire early and be able to travel. We want to be able to provide well for our children. These are examples of the driving force behind our decisions.

I can’t say this enough, but money is merely a tool. It’s meant to help you achieve your goals and live your life to the fullest, not to be a gauge for success – though many would say otherwise. Regardless, if you stick with your goals and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, you’ll be more successful in your life and your decisions.

What are your thoughts? Is money an indicator of success overall? Do those who choose to live simply deserve to be labeled as failures?

Photo by Marcio Cabral De Moura

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