How To Avoid Emotional Spending
I’ll admit, I’m both an emotional spender and an emotional eater. When I’m stressed, tired, angry, sad, or even mad I tend to spend money. I’ve had to learn how to curb that in order to keep money in the savings account and from accumulating a bunch of stuff I didn’t really want. So, here are a few tricks I’ve learned over the years on how to avoid the emotional spending.
# 1 – Avoid your personal temptation
I know my weakness is Best Buy, therefore, I’ve learned that when any strong emotion takes me, I need to avoid that store. I KNOW when I walk into Best Buy I’m going to spend money. But, when I walk in on a day when my emotions are high, it’s guaranteed I’ll spend way too much. So, if you’re weakness is a retail shop, just stay away until you’ve gained control of your mood.
# 2 – Avoid the bar
So, once I discovered that I needed to stay away from Best Buy, I turned to happy hour with friends. I think that was pretty close to being just as bad as going into retail therapy. When you’re emotions are in high gear, the drinks keep on flowing, whether you intend for them to or not. Before you know it, you’ve run up a $50+ tab. If you’d like to relax with a beverage, buy it at the store and make it yourself. Much nicer to your wallet that way!
# 3 – Find an outlet
Spending money gives us something to do when we’ve had a rough day. It takes our mind off of things for awhile and gives us a chance to escape. The natural solution to the spending problem is to find something else to do that you like just as much. Most of the time my emotional spending came from being stressed and angry over my day. So, I got into kickboxing and martial arts. I was able to work out my aggression, learn more self-control, and learn some breathing techniques that helped lower my blood-pressure on days I felt the tension rising. Find another outlet to channel that emotion to that doesn’t cost you as much money as shopping.
# 4 – Find an accountability partner
Breaking a habit is hard to do, but when you have someone helping you it can make things easier. A friend of mine went through Alcoholic’s Anonymous and they assign you a buddy to contact when you feel like you’re going to relapse. This person will talk with you and encourage you to keep going and stay strong, and it’s a big part of the success factor for the program. The same holds true with any other accountability partner. Find someone you can trust, someone who is dependable, and someone that understands what you’re going through. They need to be supportive, not demeaning.
# 5 – Give yourself the cooling off period
This tip is given a lot to help curb all kind of impulse spending, but it works just as well for emotional spending. If you find yourself in a retail shop and wanting to buy something, put it down and give yourself 24 hours to consider it. Nine times out of ten, you will find you don’t go back for it because it was just the mood your were in. This one is a little harder to do when you’re shopping based on emotion, which is why it’s not near the top with avoiding shops. But, if you keep the cooling off period in mind, even if you slip and go into the store, hopefully you can prevent yourself from buying.
# 6 – Fill it up, and put it back…
This is only for those who have learned that they can’t spend emotionally, but still want a little fix, if you will. After I’d gotten into the habit of not actually spending money, I found it fun and extremely cathartic to grab a friend and go to our favorite store with the shopping cart in hand. Pick out everything you’d love to own if money weren’t an issue and throw it in the cart. Take your time and go around the store until you’ve filled your cart. Once it’s full, start putting things back where you found them, but as you do, consider how many hours you’d have to work to actually purchase the item. You have a little fun, but the numbers help make sure you put it back.
These are just my tricks that I’ve used in order to curb my emotional spending. Some may not require all of these steps, some may need to seek more serious help in order to stop. But, if emotional spending is a problem for you, it’s good to talk to someone about it, whether it’s a friend or a spouse. Getting it out in the open makes you face the problem head on.
What other tips or suggestions do you have for someone who may be facing emotional spending?
Photo by Norma Desmond
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I’m an emotional shopper (and eater) too. One of the things you mention is that shopping can be an escape – I try to key in on that by doing other things I love that are inexpensive escapes. Grabbing a good book and curling up with it and a cup of tea – making popcorn and watching a movie – going for a long walks. Sometimes all it takes a hot shower and going to bed early. By the next morning some of the emotion has worn off and I can think a little clearer.
Number two hit home with me. When youa re single, you tend to be a bit more social. It isn’t the bar, but the friends. However, what we have started doing is going to someone’s house and playing games. You save a lot more money buying your drinks that way, and it is very entertaining.
Now that I live in the country, I don’t engage in much ‘bar therapy’, but used to make it a regular part of my week to go out for happy hour. Like you said, it adds up! I made a pitcher of drinks for about $2 at home as compared to the $20 it probably would have been at the bar.
When I first saw tip 3 “Find an outlet” I thought you were going to say, if you have to shop, go to an outlet where things are cheaper. LOL.
Good tips. I’ve found that driving around the parking lot of the store I am trying to drag myself away from helps. As does simply walking around the store. I’m pretty good about not impulse buying, but sometimes I feel the need to shop just to get out of the house.