Who Do You Trust With Your Debit/Credit Card?
It always amazes me how willingly people hand out their account information, even something as simple as a debit card. Admittedly, I’ve let my boss run over to Chipotle to get lunch with my debit card, but I’m a little more secure in the fact that she’s not going to try anything funny being my boss and all. Plus, I trust her personally. There are very few people in this world I’d give my card to, though. For others, it’s not a big deal at all and I just wonder why that is.
A member comes to see me earlier this week and she’s in a state of tears. I get her calmed down enough to tell me the problem and it goes like this. She’s being abused by her children and they’ve taken her debit card and her account is about $750 overdrawn – she elected to have what we call privilege pay, which means we’ll pay the items up to a certain dollar amount but she is charged fees for that. In the members case, her limit is $700, but she’s been hit with some fees.
Now, prior to the abuse starting she said she would give them her card and allow them to make purchases whenever they needed something. But, these occasional times began to turn into a habitual thing and when she began saying no is when her kids started acting out. On top of that, she’s had to replace her card twice because it was “lost” according to the kids. She said she got a call from the police once saying they’d picked up a kid running drugs and he had her card in his wallet and did she want to press charges.
The story continues to go downhill from there and frankly, my first instinct was to call social services for the woman and stay out of it. It’s a lot of drama and there’s a lot going on that is well beyond my expertise. But, I do have a responsibility to help her with the account, so that’s what I planned to do there. Except, that proved to be very difficult because she wasn’t willing to cooperate.
In order for me to help her we would need to cancel the current card, submit the fraud paperwork, and file a police report. However, she didn’t want to file a police report because she didn’t want her kids to get in trouble.
Come again?
They’re physically abusing her, stealing her debit card and her money, and she’s so afraid to go home that she’s been staying with a coworker and she doesn’t want to get them in trouble? Sounds to me they could use a little trouble to straighten them out. At any rate, this moves beyond anything I’m capable of handling so I grab my boss and let her take over. Somehow she convinces this woman to file the police report so we can help her with the account. We actually ended up closing down the old account and getting her a brand new account, just in case the kids had the account number as well. We also instructed her to make sure she kept her card in a safe place at all times and she’d get her money back within 48 hours.
In any event, my point to telling this story is to warn you on just handing over your debit or credit card, even if it’s to a friend or family member. We obviously want to trust those we’re close to, but the reality is that oftentimes, mixing money and relationships can be detrimental to the relationship. I’m sure this member never thought her kids would do such a thing and she had several theories on what happened, but she’s got a lot of issues to work through on this and it started by handing over her debit card.
I have other members, albeit not with so much drama, come in and ask us to help them because they’ve given their card to boyfriends or girlfriends, friends they thought they could trust, or even family members and those people have taken advantage of the card. We see it a lot, and in most cases there’s not much we can do because you willingly gave them your account information. It’s now a domestic issue. We’ll do what we can, but it is a risk you take when you give your card to friends and family.
My question to you is: are there people you would give your debit or credit card to? Have you experienced any problems as a result of trusting someone with your card?
Photo by seenyareeta
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I don’t even like to USE my debit card very much. I’d rather use a credit card for general swiping around town. There’s a limit to how much damage anyone could do to my credit card account, but I envision all kinds of nightmares unfolding if fraud hit my bank accounts. Example: a year ago my credit card company called me to ask if I had really charged $1800+ worth of camera equipment online from a retailer in France. Of course I had not. The charge was rejected and I was issued a new card with a new number.
I’m afraid that if there had been that kind of money in the bank at the time, and if my debit card had been compromised, the money would have been gone and it would have been a major hassle to straighten it out. I’m sure you know more about how this would go, Kristy, than I do, and maybe I’m wrong that I’d be out the money with a long trail of paperwork to recover it, but I liked the way the credit card company handled it for me with no effort on my part except to tell them that I had not authorized that charge.
I guess I’m off-topic from the original question. Obviously I’m so careful with my debit card that it’s almost never used (I use the associated checking account to pay bills constantly, though) but as for trust: anyone in my immediate family would be trusted with the card. I don’t know a lot of people, friend-wise – those one or two friends would be fine with it – I could trust my life with them so why not my card – and all of my friends/family are trustworthy (the kids are minors, though, so I guess that’s a moot point.)
I’ve heard tales of managers using private information (SSN in at least one case) to commit identity fraud – so don’t lower your guard just because it’s a boss (although in your case, it seems like the trust goes beyond that).
On a tangent …
There was an interesting tale about credit cards in Dear Abby (I think) over the weekend. A guy got home from a restaurant and noticed that he had the wrong receipt – and the wrong card. He called the card company, and the card had already been used several times.
The guy’s daughter called a bunch of hotels in the area, looking for the person with the missing card (using the name that was on the card that had accidentally been returned to him, assuming that they had simply been switched). Amazingly, they did track the guy down. He was dumbfounded – he had not realized that he had the wrong card and had gone about his business, making charges at various stores.
Apparently none of the stores checked his ID or verified the signature (which, of course, would not have matched)
I don’t give anyone my debit or credit card. I wouldn’t have a problem if I needed to give it one of my sons but otherwise I don’t know of anyone who I would feel comfortable with it.
I have a 90 year old neighbor that my son “takes care of”. He does everything for her including going and buying her groceries. He keeps her credit card. He has had it for a couple of years. I am sure he would never take advantage of her.
Sometimes people amaze me. I know you hear of stuff like this happening, but it is just so foreign to me – I can’t imagine living like this poor woman does.
I tend to be very close to the vest when it comes to financial matters. I suppose there are a few people I would trust with my card, but I’ve never had a situation yet where I have had too. I think I will try and keep it that way!
Another great post and hopefully thought provoking for a few people. I trust very few, like 2 people, with my debit card. One is a friend who is a bank officer,and I highly doubt she would jepordize her standing in her job by abusing my card.
I had a family member I trusted with a card I had given them for emergency use commit identity theft and also ran up the card. It caused huge family problems and at the time, I was pressured into not filing a police report by other family members. I got paid back over the span of a couple months. Burned once, don’t want to be burned twice.
The scary thing is my old boss used to give me his credit card all the time to buy lunches when we were on the road. His name is not a unisex one. No one ever checked the card, signature, or anything. It was a sign, swipe, and it was mine deal.
I have never, ever given my debit or credit card to anyone! Not my parents, sibling, friends or my spouse. In fact, my spouse and I don’t even have a joint account or credit card and no, I have never used anyone else’s debit or credit (except a company card a few times and I felt weird about it!).
It probably helps that I’m the daughter of a banker and took lessons around privacy very seriously… Call me cynical or just cautious, but I like having control on my finances.
Nope, I never hand mine out, even to family members. It’s just too easy for something to happen and I really can’t afford to lose all my money for any reason.
Even with our excellent debit card system in Canada, I try to use my credit card as frequently as possible to avoid having my debit card number stolen. It is much harder to recover money stolen from a bank account than stolen from Visa. With a credit card, I am not responsible for any charges, with a debit card I have to fight tooth and nail to prove that it wasn’t me.
I don’t think anyone should share their debit cards. Credit cards, maybe. But not your debit card. It’s the gateway to all your bank accounts!
When I used to work at a school, I was always amazed that some kids had access to their parent’s card (for iTunes). I feel like that is opening a can of worms… I mean, why not just buy them a gift card every once in awhile?
So yeah, other then my mother or my sister, I wouldn’t give my card to anyone. Another great reason to carry a little cash at all times, just in case!
Compelling story, Kristy.
Probably is a good policy to never give your card to anyone. Even if they don’t intentionally do harm they could lose your card or use an unsecured website.
I dont even trust myself with those cards! I certainly wouldnt trust anyone else. :)
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I too have noticed that people can really be careless with their cards. I have seen number of people giving others their ATM card to withdraw money using their PIN. Sometimes people hand over their Debit cards to grocery store fellow and let him swipe the card . Once I saw a gentleman who had bought his normal monthly grocery stuff from his neighbourhood store and wanted to pay by card. But since the swipe machine wasnt working, he very conveniently left his card with the shopkeeper so that he can swipe later and return his card.
I was shocked to see that.
One needs to be careful with cards as they are as good as money.
I would trust my mom, and my pastor with my debit card.
@ 444 – I understand your fears, and you’re certainly not alone. But, if the money was taken from the debit card, you’re not liable for those charges unless the investigation finds that you did actually use the card. Since the debit card carries the Visa or MasterCard logo, the financial institution must follow the credit card companies rules. There is some paperwork that is required by the credit card company because it is going through us, but it’s not a lot and it’s certainly shouldn’t be a long, drawn out process. But, there’s nothing wrong with being careful.
@ Kosmo – This is true, but my manager is also my friend…and I was monitoring the activity the whole time, hehehe.
@ DebtFree – That’s very nice, and responsible, of your son! Sounds like you did an amazing job in raising him. Kudos to you!
@ Dawn – I think your approach is best. Being that I work at a credit union, I get to keep a close eye on my account, so I’m more comfortable with certain things then probably most people would be. But, if I ever leave the industry, I’ll know enough to know better then to let people borrow my card.
@ bouncing back betty – Yikes! I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your family! I think maybe I’d let me parents use it, but there is no way I’d let me siblings get a hold of it for the very reason you mentioned!
@ Bionic Librarian – You’re not cynical and there’s nothing wrong with being cautious. Personally, I’m glad to see a married couple that doesn’t have a joint account, it just gets dangerous. I’ve been told that in a relationship you should trust the other person and share equally. Yeah, my answer to that is to work in the banking industry. In six months, I guarantee you’ll find a list of 10 reasons why it’s a good idea to have your own account. I’m not knocking those that have them, more power to them. Myself, I’ll be keeping an individual account.
@ Ginger – I don’t really know the banking laws of Canada, but it shouldn’t be that difficult. They should still be using the same processes as Visa. I’d consider switching banks if you’re having that much trouble with one.
@ Nicole – In truth, I haven’t run across a parent who’s let their kid use their debit card for iTunes, but I’m not surprised. I usually try to encourage gift cards when it comes to kids.
@ Ryan – Thanks, and agreed! The best policy is to really just keep it to yourself.
@ Maria – And why don’t you trust yourself?
@ Rajeev – I drove a friend to the ATM once and she gave me the card and started to tell me the PIN. I stopped her and told her to get out and do it herself, I didn’t want the info. She was a little surprised I think, but I just don’t want to know.
@ Jass – Good people to trust if you’re going to trust anyone.
Thanks for the fabulous comments, you guys!