8 Signs Your Money Hates You
So this weekend I went saw the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” for the fourth time. I enjoy the movie mostly because of the Justin Long character – the realistic guy who tells Gigi how it is – but also because of the Ben Affleck character – I’d like to think there are guys like that in the world.
At any rate, the fact that I’ve paid $40 on this movie already and plan to buy it when it comes out seemed to me a sign that my money hates me and therefore wants to part ways. Ahem. So, in response to that, I figured I’d give you 8 sure-fire ways to tell whether or not your money hates you.
# 1 – Buying more Girl Scout cookies than you can possibly eat
I’m sure the cause is extremely important to you and it was very nice of you to help those Girl Scouts out, but seven boxes? Really? And you might rationalize that you could, in fact, eat all seven boxes yourself, but you and I both know that you SHOULDN’T. Let’s be honest, your rationalizations are nothing more than a cover to hide the pain of rejection. It’s ok to admit it…my name is _______ and my money hates me.
# 2 – Eating out every night of the week
Surely this can’t mean that your money hates you, it’s become an American way of life. Eating out is the “new” eating in. But, alas, I’m afraid not. Eating out every night of the week suggests your money really hates you. It would rather be passed around town at the local establishments than to remain safely committed in your wallet. Yech! I hope it’s using protection for all that spreading it’s doing! Money is so dirty, isn’t it?
# 3 – Buying items to fill a meaningless collection
Sure, those teddy bears are cute and you really liked them as a kid, but now you’re buying them out of habit rather than enjoyment. They no longer hold sentimental value and cost you more money to move them. In truth, it’s your money’s way of telling you to take a hike. You are as meaningful to your money as those damn bears with their squished eyes are to you. The real tragedy is that your money has been trying to let you down gently over the years – bears make for a soft fall – but you just don’t seem the type to take a hint.
# 4 – Shiny electronics catch your eye
Since the soft let down wasn’t working, your money has had to resort to more drastic measures. Ever resentful of the fact that you so arbitrarily assume ownership of it, your money has directed you towards the shiny electronic section where it convinces you that it was your idea to part ways in favor of that big screen TV, Blu-ray DVD player, or brand new digital camera. But, the reality is that you’ve been duped. Your money is running away as fast as it can, but it’s sly enough to make you believe you’re pushing it away. Clever little bills.
# 5 – Literally throwing money away
It’s funny how money can be so unassuming at times. It makes you forget you stuck a $10 bill in your wallet, hid a $50 in the cookie jar, or forgot to take the $5 bill out of the fast food bag. Out with the garbage it went, a free bill, as it’s doubtful anyone should find it but worms in the trash dump. A sad, but true, accounting of how money can hate its keeper and plot a well-hidden escape.
# 6 – Such and such store is having a sale
Money really gets you good here. It prompts you to rigorously dig through the 30, 40, and 50% off racks, never mind the fact that you only came in for one specific item. It lures you into the section of the store where everything is ‘buy one, get one half off.’ No matter that you’re running low on money from all the other attempted escapes, this money wishes nothing more than to be rid of you and will stop at nothing to tempt you with the sales, even if they aren’t really sales. Your money will make you believe it’s a good deal, if only you’ll loosen the purse strings and let it out. You’ll soon see how easy it disappears.
# 7 – Self-entitlement shopping
Here you are thinking that you’re going to treat yourself to a little shopping for your good behavior. $735 later you realize it’s nothing more than a plot against you by your money. It coaxes you into spending, making you believe you deserve it. After all, you’ve been so good. Why not spend a little money and make yourself feel better? You think it’s your idea, but the truth is, your money just hates you.
# 8 – Forgetting the coupons
Ever slave over cutting out the coupons from the Sunday paper, track some good ones down online, and spend an obsessive amount of time pouring over the weekly ads for good deals only to forget them all at home? Ever get to the store and not even remember you had a coupon for that item until you get back home? It’s not you, it’s your money. You see, by blocking your memory of ever having clipped coupons, it is that much closer to escape. You don’t think twice about the coupons until you get home and see them lying in wait on the counter, the desk, or in some cases, the living room floor. While it’s not your fault, keep in mind, your money is trying to tell you something!
What are some other signs you can think of where our money is clearly telling us it hates us?
Related posts:
- Top 10 Ways To Flush Money Down the Toilet
- 10 Signs You’re Addicted to Debt
- Put Your Money Where Your Fat Is!
- The Hidden Fee That Costs Us Money
- Can Money Buy Happiness?
Its For Your Own Good – You go into the health store to pick up one gallon of organic milk – and you walk out with $536 of supplements, teas and organically grown carrots. You think you are being smart and healthy, but really it is your money’s way of making you think you are doing the right thing so it can slip away into someone else’s hemp woven bag.
Yes, this happens to me. A lot.
Number 3 is particularly inspired. I think we’ve all been here to one extent or another. I can’t believe how many DVDs I bought before I realized I would never have enough time to watch all of them enough to warrant owning them.
Sad, sad… but at least my money and I have finally reconciled. And let me tell you, the makeup party was worth the all the hassle…
you saw that movie FOUR TIMES!? you need to find a dollar theater somewhere near where you live….
My friend leaned over at the end of this movie and said “You are Gigi.” It was fun wasn’t it?
@ Dawn – Yup, I’ve done that one, too!
@ LiteralDan – See, my DVD collection I find to be very meaningful. I’m a writer though, so it’s part of what I want to do, and I consider them an investment in my future. I do also happen to love movies, so I watch them repeatedly. But, teddy bears…now that’s a whole horse of a different color!
@ mimi – They do have one here, but it wasn’t playing the movie. I really liked it and my one area of splurging is movies.
@ Nicole – LOL! Awww. I liked Gigi, though I did feel bad for her most of the movie. I LOVED the part where he showed up! I won’t give it away, but that line he feed her was too cute! And yes, it was so much fun! LOVED IT!
[...] Your Card presents 8 Signs Your Money Hates You posted at Master Your [...]