With the holidays coming up, I realize there’s going to be plenty of opportunities where tipping will be appropriate and so I wanted to talk about that today. I’m not opposed to tipping by any means. I think a job well done deserves a great tip, and by that logic, should be a gage to let them know how they’re doing. That said, I tip what I think the service was worth – which people argue with me about all the time.

I’ll tip as high as 50% when the service exceeded my expectations. That means I never had an empty glass, they were attentive to our needs, but not hovering, they carried on friendly conversation that wasn’t too personal, and most importantly, they didn’t make me feel like I was bothering them. On the same token, I’ll tip someone who has given me poor service 10% or less, depending on how bad they were. If I have to ask for my drinks to be filled, my order is wrong, and the wait person is uninterested in me as a patron, I’ll usually go with 10%.

I have a friend who I won’t eat out with anymore because I don’t approve of his method. I think it’s patronizing. He’ll set out a stack of 20 $1 bills, and upon being introduced to the wait person he will inform them that the stack of money is their tip. They’ll get all of it if they’re good, but if they’re not, he’ll keep subtracting the bills as the meal progresses. It usually goes one of two ways. Either we get really good service – though I’ve yet to experience anyone get all $20 – or we’ll get really bad service. I think this tactic promotes the ‘F You’ attitude, and I can’t say as I blame them. I also fear that my food has been spit in.

So, out of curiosity, I looked up tipping etiquette. I had a general idea, but I wanted to see how I might be perceived to the service industry at large. As I expected, there was some variance among the so-called experts as to how much was appropriate to tip. Some things they could agree on, for instance, most people will agree that 15-20% is appropriate for a sit-down restaurant. But, there are some variances when it comes to other types of services.

Salon Services

According to experts, the standard amount of gratuity is 15-20%. Now, this depends on several factors – the skill level of the stylist, how happy you are with the end result, and whether or not you’ll be going back. For practical purposes, if you’re going to a low-end chain, 15% is usually adequate. If you’re going to a ritzy salon, 20% is preferred. Just remember the damage they can do to your hair if they feel affronted by your feeble efforts to tip them. In this category I’m inclined to tip pretty well – at least 20% – because I’ve been going to the same person for years and she does a great job.

Restaurants

Again, the norm here is 15-20%, though 25% isn’t unheard of if the service is excellent. If you’re part of a large party with picky people, be sure to tip closer to 20% – unless the wait staff are completely incompetent. Personally, I think this particular area of tipping is highly personal. People will tip based on the service they received, not on what is expected of them. And I think managers should take an interest in what kind of tips their wait staff are getting because it truly is a reflection of their service. One bad tip out of 20 good tips is clearly a crabby old miser of a customer. But, if all their tips for the day were poor, there’s clearly a problem with that employee. Just my observation.

Clubs and Bars

Appropriate etiquette here says that 10-15% is sufficient. It doesn’t take a lot of effort to hand you a beer. However, if you’re ordering mixed beverages with several ingredients, you may want to stick with the 15% figure. For me, this depends on whether or not the bartender is cute. It’s sad, but if he’s cute and he flirts, he gets more money. And don’t act like I’m the only one that does this!

Transportation Services

This can include hailing a cab or renting a limo, but the typical tip expectation is 10-15%. Now, if the cabbie or driver was unhelpful or rude, then 10% would be fine. But, if they were particularly helpful, then 15% is appropriate. Personally, if they’re charging me an arm and a leg to get from the airport to the hotel and they’re rude to me, they’re not getting a tip. Let them reflect on that. I could be getting the remnants from everything else that’s going on in their world, but that’s beside the point. I’ll tip you here if you deserve it, but this isn’t one that I feel I should HAVE to tip on.  That said, every time I go to L.A. and ride the shuttle bus from the airport to the hotel, I tip those guys because they are exceptionally helpful. It’s when I have to go downtown and take a cab that I don’t get the best service.

Hotel Services

Apparently you’re supposed to tip the maids a few bucks for cleaning your room. I didn’t know this. I’ve never done it. I’m not sure how I feel about this as the most they ever have to do is make the bed and take the used towels off the shower rod. But, that’s the normal etiquette. There’s also the tip for the bell hops – which makes sense since they are carrying your bags – and for room service – which I rarely tip extra since the bill automatically seems to include it now.

I think these are the big ones that we should all know the tipping rules on. But, what about the small ones? Things like Starbucks and Amy’s Ice Cream that charge you through the nose for their products and then dare to put that tip jar out there. Or, my personal favorite, the Sonic drive-thru’s that won’t allow you to go in an order but would rather send out a girl on roller skates so that you feel compelled to tip her for getting a 32-ounce vanilla Dr. Pepper.

So, the question is, with all of the tips expected from these other service industries, do we tip these little places where it’s not expected per se, but they talk about you behind your back if you don’t? I say not. I don’t frequent any of those places enough to make it a big deal to me. Frankly, they’re welcome to think what they like of me and it won’t make me sleep less at night. I do tip where it’s socially appropriate to tip like restaurants and salons; however, I tip based on the service, social rules be damned. I will go above and beyond the norm when the service is phenomenal, but I don’t think I should reward bad behavior by giving them a decent tip when they don’t deserve it.

And before you think I’ve never worked in the service industry for tips so I wouldn’t know anything, I hate to disappoint, but I have worked for tips. For several years, in fact. So I know how much is sucks to get crappy tips. But, I also know that the smarter and more efficiently I worked, the better of a waitress I was and my tips increased. I had to learn to be a good waitress before the tips came. And because I know that people are willing to tip well for good service, I tried to go above and beyond for my customers. So, I don’t think my attitude towards tips is a bad thing. It really is rare that I tip 10% or less, but it is something I’m willing to do for poor service.

What do you guys think? And let’s be honest here because I want to know what people are really doing out there. Are you tipping according to the social rules, or do you tip like me based on service? If anyone here is in the service industry relying on tips, what are your thoughts?

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