Are Your Friends Putting You in Debt?
We’ve all been to those dinners with friends where we feel obligated to pick up the tab, or they order fillet mignon and we get a side salad. It’s tough when you’re in different financial situations, but sometimes we have to ask ourselves if we’re in debt because of our friends.
I know I have to catch myself sometimes. I have friends at both ends of the spectrum and sometimes when I’m with my friends who may make a little more than me, I tend to want to spend a lot of money. On the flipside, I’m always catching myself trying to talk the other end of the spectrum of friends into having lunch or dinner, or simply going out to a movie. I have to remind myself that they can’t afford it.
If you’re friends are causing you to stay in debt, then there are some things you can do.
1.) Suggest cheaper alternatives.
When the topic of which restaurant you should go to comes up, suggest a cheaper alternative to the normal high-priced ones. You may have to simply let your friends know that you can’t afford the pricey ones they like all the time.
2.) Just say no.
Sometimes you’re just going to have to say no. It’s never fun to be the responsible one, especially when everyone wants to take an impromptu trip to Vegas. But, the fact is, sometimes we just can’t keep up with them and we have to draw the line.
3.) Set yourself a limit.
If you decide to go out with your well-to-do friends, be sure to set yourself a limit and stick to it. Once you’ve spent that money, you’re done. Either call it a night or stick around for the laughs, but be sure you don’t leave yourself room for temptation. Don’t take any more cash than what you plan to spend and don’t offer to pay someone else’s way.
These are some of the easiest methods to save money around friends. You just have to remember that friends are friends no matter how much money you spend. Keep that firmly in mind when going out on the town and you’ll find it much easier to save money and still enjoy their company.
Do you have any friends that could be causing you debt?
I no longer get into this trap, but I do have some friends (husband and wife) that did about two years ago - and I might have been one of the ones they were trying to keep up with.
Then my friends bought a house and all the maintenance costs that go along with it. They did the right thing at that point, admitted they were a little strapped, and put a moratorium on the outtings. This was fine, since instead of going out we would gather at their newly-purchased home and have a pot-luck dinner. It saves me money too, which is a good thing.
Unfortunately, this has been going on for about a year and a half now, and literally the only time we (I am now engaged to her brother) see them is when we go over to their house. They didn’t even come to the family camping trip this year, even though our parents paid all the camping fees for us, and the campground was only 25 miles away from home.
Have they not caught up on the expenses, or has it just become a habit to stay at home? Or perhaps they’ve just transfered all their overspending to the house itself. Overspending is bad, but isn’t it also stressful for yourself and your marriage if you never leave home even for inexpensive outtings?