For Dillon Debton, it was love at first sight. He pulled the envelope out of the mailbox and held it up to the gleaming sunlight. His name marched across the front of the envelope in bold black letters and “special offer inside” was scrawled in red script. A special offer for him? His heart leapt as he raced to the house. His trembling fingers opened the envelope to reveal the contents: a letter offering him a $5000 line of credit and a low introductory interest rate for the first six months!

Dillon snatched a pen and filled out the application. He daydreamed of the new possibilities that were opening up to him. With $5000 he could buy snazzy new clothes; he could purchase that high-definition big screen TV; he could even buy tickets to the Barry Manilow concert! He stuffed the application into the postage-paid envelope and sent it on its way.

Dillon watched the mailbox every day until it finally came: his plastic ticket to fun had arrived. Dillon took his beloved plastic everywhere he went. He bought lunch at fancy restaurants and bought gizmos and gadgets. He and his plastic stuck together like a wad of gum sticks to the underside of a school bus seat.

About a month later, Dillon received his first bill. He opened it and laughed out loud as he saw all the things he had bought and the stuff he had done. Now he actually had a life! Man, he thought, the chicks will really dig me now! He would now have a monthly reminder of what a groovy man he had become. He smiled as he looked at the small minimum payment.

Mr. Debton loved his plastic card and he wanted to have it as his constant companion. Dillon took out a piece of paper and made a list of how he could insure his monthly “reminder” of his absolute coolness would continue to make its appearance.

7 Ways to Stay in Debt Forever

1- Use the credit card at every opportunity. After all, he could really rack up some bonus points – maybe he could earn enough for some free french fries or something.

2- Only make the minimum payment. He knew that bill would keep on coming, month after month, if he just paid the minimum payment.

3- Send payments late. At $30 a pop, those late fees could really add up fast!

4- Use the cash advance option – a lot. With a cost of $25 and a 25% interest rate on the money advanced, that balance might not ever go away.

5- Pay by phone. He could get a $10 fee every time he paid by phone.

6- Go over the limit. Another fee! A whopping $39 for going over the limit.

7- QVC, The Shopping Network, late-night infomercials – now you’re talking, baby!

Day by day, month by month, Mr. Debton’s balance grew and grew as his wallet shrank down to almost nothing. Suddenly, he saw the light: his plastic “friend” wasn’t giving him a better quality of life; it was robbing him of it. Suddenly, he didn’t feel the love for the plastic anymore.

Dillon pondered his relationship with his card as he sharpened the large kitchen shears. He really didn’t like how the fun things he had bought with his card had worn out or had broken months ago, yet he would still be paying for them for years and years. His credit limit was maxed and so he couldn’t buy any more fun.

Dillon pulled the plastic out of his wallet and held it for one brief moment before chopping it to bits. He tossed the sad remains into the trash, walked away, and never looked back.

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